For most parents weekends and school holidays are times to look forward to, especially if it means a break in the sun with unlimited ice cream and a children’s disco. Unfortunately raising a child in this country means that the weather plays a huge part in how we entertain our children when schools out. I recently found shelter from one of our typically British summer days at The World’s Museum in Liverpool with my young family and witnessed a few types of parenting styles.
I like to think that I’m a firm but fair Mum, who is courteous to other parents and their children, I want my family to enjoy their day out but not get too silly or giddy and I won’t allow their behaviour to become a nuisance to others. I do expect my family to be on their best behaviour in public but I understand that it’s rarely going to happen – I’m a realist.
During our day out I encountered quite a few Enthusiastic Parents who bounced around the museum like Tigger, overcome with excitement (to reiterate this is the parent not the child.) They were clearly loving every minute, coaxing their bored little darling towards the various exhibitions. They read everything (except the exit sign) and visited every inch of the museum despite their child’s pleadings to leave and visit the local McDonalds.
Then there was the Bedraggled Parent, despite having the family day out booked in the diary weeks ago they were running late, with wet hair, the changing bag contents spilling out all over the floor, they had forgotten to bring the packed lunches and the all important teddy for their toddler. I empathised with this family and gave them some of our Mini Cheddars because we have all been there and done that oh so often.
There were lots of the Annoyed Parents, the idea of a museum visit was hellish and their screwed up faces showed their lack of interest, therefore their children were far from inspired. The amount of times I heard the question “Why are dinosaurs so big Mummy?” only to be met with “for the hundredth time, I don’t know” and under their breath “and I don’t care!” It was the little ones who were dragging their mums and dads around by the hand trying to encourage and engage them, a complete role reversal if ever I’d seen one.
However, I mostly witnessed the Faraway Parenting style, this parent wasn’t literally miles away from their brood but they were absent from the moment. Distracted by their smart phone or in a deep and meaningful conversation about what had happened during Eastenders the previous night. Their children careering around like primitive beasts, so convincingly that they could have been from the very time which was being exhibited.
I accept that there are many different ways to raise your children and no hard and fast rules. What I saw on that trip to the museum was a snap shot of a few family’s lives and probably not a true reflection of how daily life really is in that household. However, for me it’s important to be in the moment with your children, guiding and engaging them. We all need be mindful that these childhood experiences are precious and it doesn’t last for ever.